Five Rules to having a happy married life

· It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.

· It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.

· It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't lie to you.

· It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.

· It's very, very important that these four women never meet one another.

Single are we Tyler??

Prime Minister, Tony Blair, was visiting a school when a teacher asked him if he would care to lead the class discussion on semantics. Tony, having just escaped a mauling by the BBC's Jeremy 'Rotweiler' Paxman by the skin of his lying teeth, smugly chose the word ‘tragedy' and asked the class to give an example of its use.

One boy stood up and said, “If my girlfriend, Suzie, who lives on a farm, was playing near the cesspit, and fell in, and her dad stuck a fork through her chest and killed her, that would be a tragedy.”
“No,” said Blair, “that would be an accident.”

Then a pretty, dark haired girl called Keli, raised her hand and suggested shyly: “If there was, like, a nucla war dat killed all da blokes but left da girls alive and da last bloke on earth lost his testicles in a shaving accident, that would be like, a REAL tragedy.”
“I’m afraid not.” Said slimey Tone. “That’s what we would call a great loss.”

The room went silent. No other children volunteered. Blair searched the room in vain for an upraised hand. “Isn’t there anyone here who can give me a correct definition of the word 'tragedy?”

Finally, a scruffily dressed blonde right at the very back of the room raised her grubby hand. In an an uncertain voice she said: “If an aircraft carrying you, Mr. Blair, the cabinet and Mr Bush was struck by a ‘friendly’ missile fired by an American helicopter gunship and blown to smithereens, that would be a tragedy.”
“Fantastic!” exclaimed Blair. “That’s right. And can you tell me why that would be a tragedy?”

“Well...” replied the girl, “it has to be a tragedy, because it certainly wouldn’t be a great loss and it probably wouldn’t be an accident either.”

John invited his mother over for dinner. During the meal, his mother couldn't help noticing how beautiful John's roommate was. She had long been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate and this only made her more curious. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between John and the roommate than met the eye. Reading his mom's thoughts, John volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Julie and I are just roommates."
About a week later, Julie came to John and said, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the beautiful silver gravy ladle. "You don't suppose she took it, do you?" Julie said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her a letter just to be sure."
So he sat down and wrote: "Dear Mother, I'm not saying you 'did' take a gravy ladle from my house, and I'm not saying you 'did not' take a gravy ladle. But the fact remains that one has been missing ever since you were here for dinner."
Several days later, John received a letter from his mother which read: "Dear Son, I'm not saying that you 'do' sleep with Julie, and I'm not saying that you 'do not' sleep with Julie. But the fact remains that if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now. Love, Mom"

A guy walks in to a quiet bar carrying three ducks, one in each hand and one under his left arm. He places them on the bar, has a few drinks, and chats with the Barman. The Barman is experienced and has learned not to ask people about the animals that people bring into the bar, so he doesn't mention the ducks. He and the guy chat for about 30 minutes before the guy has to go to the toilet.

Now, the Barman is alone with the ducks. After an awkward silence, he decides to try to make conversation.

"What's your name?" he says to one of the ducks.

"Huey," answers the first duck.

"How's your day been, Huey?"

"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day."

"Oh, that's nice," says the Barman. Then he says to the second duck, "And what's your name?".

"Dewey," comes the answer.

"So how's your day been, Dewey?"

"Great. Lovely day. Had a ball. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had the chance, I would do it all again."

So the Barman turns to the third duck and says, "So, you must be Louie."

"No," growls the third duck, "My name is Puddles. And don't ask about my day."

Jack wakes up at home with a huge hangover he can't believe. He forces himself to open his eyes, and the first thing
he sees is a couple of aspirin next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack
sits down and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. Jack looks around the room and sees that it
is in perfect order, spotlessly clean.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror, and notices a
note on the table: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to go shopping--Love you!" He stumbles to the
kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast and the morning newspaper. His son is also at the table, eating. Jack
asks "Son...what happened last night?" "Well, you came home after 3 am, drunk and out of your mind. You broke some
furniture, puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door." "So, why is everything in such
perfect order, so clean, I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me?"

His son replies, "Oh that! Mum dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your trousers off, you screamed,
"Leave me alone, you TART, I'm married!

Broken furniture £85.26
Hot Breakfast £4.20
Red Rose bud £3.00
Two Aspirins £0.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time.........Priceless

A Man City and Man United fan collide in a huge accident on the motorway. Both cars are a wreck, but both men are unhurt.

"This must be a sign from God that we are meant to be friends" says the City fan "I agree" replies the United fan

The City fan then returns to the wreckage of his car, and finds a bottle of whiskey he had been saving.

"Look" he says to the united fan, "this must be another sign from God, we should drink this whiskey to celebrate our friendship and survival"

He hands the bottle over to the United fan who takes a large gulp from the bottle before passing it back to the City fan, who then puts the top back on & returns the bottle to his car.

"Aren't you having any?" asks the United fan. "No" replied the City fan, "I think I’ll wait til the Police get here."

Lesson to be learned from typing the wrong email address:

A Minneapolis couple decided to go to Florida to thaw out during a particularly icy winter.
They planned to stay at the same hotel where they spent their honeymoon 20 years earlier.
Because of hectic schedules, it was difficult to coordinate their travel plans.
So, the husband left Minnesota and flew to Florida on Thursday, with his wife flying down the following day.
The husband checked into the hotel.
There was a computer in his room, so he decided to send an email to his wife.
However, he accidentally left out one letter in her email address, and without realizing his error, sent the email.
Meanwhile, somewhere in Houston, a widow had just returned home from her husband's funeral.
He was a minister who was called home to glory following a heart attack.
The widow decided to check her email expecting messages from relatives and friends.
After reading the first message, she screamed and fainted.
The widow's son rushed into the room, found his mother on the floor,
and saw the computer screen which read:

To: My loving wife

Subject: I've arrived Date: May 9th, 2005

I know you're surprised to hear from me. They have computers here

now and you are allowed to send emails to your loved ones.

I've just arrived and have been checked in. I see that everything has been prepared for your arrival tomorrow. Looking forward to seeing you then.

Hope your journey is as uneventful as mine was.

P.S. sure is freaking hot down here!!!!!

Just imagine sitting in traffic on your way to work and hearing this.

Many Sydney folks DID hear this on the FOX FM morning show in Sydney.
The DJs play a game where they award winners great prizes. The game is Called "Mate Match". The DJs call someone at work and ask if they are married or seriously involved with someone. If the contestant answers "yes", he or she is then asked 3 random yet highly personal questions.
The person is also asked to divulge the name of their partner (with phone number) for verification. If their partner answers those same three questions correctly, they both win the prize.

One particular game, however, several months ago made the Harbour City drop to its knees with laughter and is possibly the funniest thing you've heard yet. Anyway, here's how it all went down:

DJ: "Hey! This is Ed on FOX-FM. Have you ever heard of 'Mate Match'?"

Contestant: (laughing) "Yes, I have."

DJ: "Great! Then you know we're giving away a trip to the Gold Coast if you win.
What is your name? First only please."

Contestant: "Brian."

DJ: "Brian, are you married or what?"

Brian: (laughing nervously) "Yes, I am married."

DJ: "Thank you. Now, what is your wife's name? First only please."

Brian: "Sara."

DJ: "Is Sara at work, Brian?"

Brian: "She is gonna kill me."

DJ: "Stay with me here, Brian! Is she at work?"

Brian: (laughing) "Yes, she's at work."

DJ: "Okay, first question - when was the last time you had sex?"

Brian: "About 8 o'clock this morning."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: (laughing sheepishly) "Well..."

DJ: "Question #2 - How long did it last?"

Brian: "About 10 minutes."

DJ: "Wow! You really want that trip, huh? No one would ever have said that if a trip wasn't at stake."

Brian: "Yeah, that trip sure would be nice."

DJ: "Okay. Final question. Where did you have sex at 8 o'clock this morning?

Brian: (laughing hard) "I, ummm, I, well..."

DJ: "This sounds good, Brian. Where was it at?"

Brian: "Not that it was all that great, but her mum is staying with us for a couple of weeks..."

DJ: "Uh huh..."

Brian: "...and the Mother-In-Law was in the shower at the time."

DJ: "Atta boy, Brian."

Brian: "On the kitchen table."

DJ: "Not that great?? That is more adventure than the previous hundred times I've done it. Okay folks, I will put Brian on hold, get this wife's work number and call her up. You listen to this."

[3 minutes of commercials follow. ]

DJ: "Okay audience; let's call Sara, shall we?" (touch tones.....ringing....)

Clerk: "Kinkos."

DJ: "Hey, is Sara around there somewhere?"

Clerk: "This is she."

DJ: "Sara, this is Ed with FOX-FM. We are live on the air right now and I've been talking with Brian for a couple of hours now."

Sara: (laughing) "A couple of hours?"

DJ: "Well, a while now. He is on the line with us. Brian knows not to give any\answers away or you'll lose. Sooooooo... do you know the rules of 'Mate Match'?"

Sara: "No."

DJ: "Good!"

Brian: (laughing)

Sara: (laughing) "Brian, what the hell are you up to?"

Brian: (laughing) "Just answer his questions honestly, okay? Be completely honest."

DJ: "Yeah yeah yeah. Sure. Now, I will ask you 3 questions, Sara. If your answers match Brian's answers, then the both of you will be off to the Gold Coast for 5 days on us.

Sara: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Alright. When did you last have sex, Sara?"

Sara: "Oh God, Brian....uh, this morning before Brian went to work."

DJ: "What time?"

Sara: "Around 8 this morning."

DJ: "Very good. Next question. How long did it last?"

Sara: "12, 15 minutes maybe."

DJ: "Hmmmm. That's close enough. I am sure she is trying to protect his manhood. We've got one last question, Sara. You are one question away from a trip to the Gold Coast. Are you ready?"

Sara: (laughing) "Yes."

DJ: "Where did you have it?"

Sara: "OH MY GOD, BRIAN!! You didn't tell them that did you?"

Brian: "Just tell him, honey."

DJ: "What is bothering you so much, Sara?"

Sara: "Well..."

DJ: Come on Sara..... where did you have it?

Sara: "Up the ar$e....."

After a long pause, the DJ said, "Folks, we need to take a station break"

And the drivers of Sydney almost crashed their cars laughing!

RECIPE FOR LOVE:

2x Laughing eyes
2x Well shaped legs
2x Loving arms
2x Firm milk containers
2x Nuts
1x Fur lined mixing bowl
1x firm banana

Directions:
1. Look into laughing eyes
2. Spread well shaped legs with loving arms
3 Squeeze and massage milk containers very gently until fur lined mixing bowl is well greased, check regularly with finger.
4. Gently add firm banana to mixing bowl, working in and out until well creamed.
(For best results, continue to knead milk containers). 5. As heat rises, plunge banana deep into mixing bowl and cover with nuts, leave to soak (preferably not over night).
6. The cake is done when banana is soft. If banana doesn't soften, repeat steps 3-5 or change mixing bowls.

Notes:
1. If in unfamiliar kitchen, wash utensils carefully before and after use.
2. Do not lick mixing bowl after use.
3. If cake rises, leave town

Theos world cup diary !!!

What I did on my summer holiday By Theo Walcott Esq aged 8 1/ 2

In Germany there are lots of castles and some mountains. We are staying in a place called Baden Baden. That's a silly name.

Uncle Frank has the same name as his dad, that's silly too. His mum must get their underpants mixed up all the time.

On the aeroplane Uncle Sol sat next to me. He got me some sweets and wants to be my friend. He works at the place where I do my YTS, so does Uncle Freddy but him and Uncle Sol are not best friends anymore.

Uncle Owen met us at the airport, he talks foreign. Uncle Wayne, Uncle
Steven and Uncle David also talk funny. My mum says Uncle David talks like Orville, he is a duck.

Uncle Sol says uncle David wears dresses and knickers, and asked me if I had ever worn them. Uncle Sol got me some pop.

In Germany the grown ups are going to play football. My grandad says we
beat them in the olden days before my mum was born. That is a long time ago.

While the grown ups went to play football, I went shopping with Auntie
Vicky and some other girls. She bought me a big ice cream and got herself a little one but she said she was full before she had eaten any and threw it away.
She bought lots of shoes and handbags and let me play with Brooklyn. She says she used to be in a pop band and sang me one of her songs. I think she was telling fibs.

I told Uncle Sol about my day out with Vicky and he sulked, then he bought me an even bigger ice cream with lots of hundreds & thousands on it, and a flake.

All the other grown ups have a girlfriend except Uncle Sol so he plays with me while they go out. Uncle Sven says I must keep Uncle Sol happy - that's why I got taken on holiday.

The grown ups went to play Football against somebody called Sweden. Uncle Sol was crying as Uncle Freddy played for them and would not talk to him.
Uncle Sol bought me lots of sweets today and some crisps.

Uncle Sven is from Sweden and I heard him on the phone to their boss last night. Uncle Michael hurt his knee and had to go home to his mum for a plaster. Uncle Peter is a giant, a proper giant like you see in books, he is rubbish at football though.

Uncle Wayne had a sore toe at the start of our holiday but it got better so
they let him play football. Uncle Sol got me a present but I do not like
it. He says all Germans wear leather underpants and I should while we are here.
They are too tight for me.

All the grown ups started to call Uncle Wayne a potato head who stood on somebody's winkie. He got shouted at by the referee. They are all saying that we have to go home now. Uncle Sol was crying again and I had to sit on his knee to make him stop. He had his mobile phone in his pocket, I think.

Theo

A husband and wife stepped up to view the body of his mother-in-law. As he began to cry, his wife punched him and said: Why are you crying, you never liked my mother anyway. I know he replied, I thought I saw her move!

If you kiss her, you are not a gentleman.

If you don`t you are not a man.

If you praise her, she thinks you are sucking up.

If you don`t, you are self-centered and aren`t noticing her enough.

If you agree to all her likes, you are a wuss because you let her control you.

If you don`t, you are selfish and just don`t understand her needs.

If you visit her too often, she thinks you are boring.

If you don`t visit her often enough, you are inattentive.

If you are well dressed, she says you are a playboy.

If you are not well-dressed, she says you are a slob.

If you are jealous, she says that is bad.

If you are not, she thinks you don`t love her.

If you attempt "romance," she says you don`t respect her.

If you don`t, she wonders why you think something is wrong with her.

If you are a minute late, she complains of the wait.

If she is an hour late, she says, "That`s a girl`s way."

If you flirt with another woman, she accuses you of being unfaithful.

If she flirts with another man, she says, "Oh, it`s only natural for women."

If you kiss her too often, she says "You are smothering me!"

If you don`t kiss her often enough, she thinks you are a cold fish.

If you stare at others, she calls you a clod.

If she stares at others, she is only "admiring."

If she talks, she wants you to listen

If you listen, she wants you to talk.

A lady approaches a priest and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have
these two talking female parrots, but they only say "Hi, we are prostitutes.
Do you want to have some FUN?"

"That's terrible!", the priest exclaimed, "Bring your two talking female
parrots over to my house and I will put them with my two male talking
parrots who I have taught to pray and read the Bible, then my parrots will
teach your parrots to stop saying that terrible phrase and your female
parrots will learn to pray and worship."

So the next day, the lady brings her female parrots to the priest's house.
The priest's two male parrots are holding rosary beads and praying in their
cage.

The lady puts her female talking parrots in and they say, "Hi, we are
prostitutes! Do you want to have some FUN?"

One male parrot looks over to the other male parrot and says, "PUT THE
BIBLES AWAY! OUR PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!!!!!"

Irishman, Englishman and a German are caught in Saudi Arabia drinking. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on your back, what would you like?" said the prison guard to the Englishman just before lashing him. The English man, being a bit of a cricket fan, asked for linseed oil. When they lashed him on a post and let him go to catch his flight back to London he groaned and crawled to the airport. Next came the German. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on your back, what would you like?" said the prison guard "Nothing" said the German and, after receiving his lashes spat on the ground, called the prison guards Schisers and started off towards the airport. The guards then came to the Irishman. "Under Saudi law you are sentenced to 30 lashes then deported. Before you begin you are entitled to something on your back, what would you like?" "Oh", replied the Irishman, "I'll take the German".

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman are driving in the desert, when all of a sudden smoke pours out from the bonnet and their jeep breaks down.

"B*llocks" shouts the Englishman, "what are we going to do now?!!"

Knowing a bit more about cars than the other two, the Scotsman decides to take a look, and decides that nothing can be done.

"Well I don't know about you two" says the Scotsman, "but I'm outta here. There's no way I'm staying in this place to die!" And with that, he gets his stuff together, and starts walking off into the distance.

"Hang on!" shouts the Englishman, who gets HIS stuff together and runs after the Scot.

The Irishman thinks about it for a minute, before deciding what it is he should take with him. Upon doing so, he follows the other two.

Five hours later, and a jeep appears from the distance with a friendly face at the wheel.

"I bet you're glad I found you!!" exclaimed the jeep driver as he got closer.

"Sure are" replied the Englishman, "though we would have been ok for a while yet"

"Oh, why's that?" asked the driver.

"Well" said the Sotsman "I've got loads of drink. So we would have been ok if we got thirsty"

"Yes," said the Englishman "and knowing that, I have brought lots of food and medical supplies"

Impressed, the driver turned to look at the Irishman.

"Why the hell have you brought a car door with you?!!" he exclaimed, looking very puzzled.

"Oh, that's easy" replied the Irishman. "It's in case we get hot, we can wind the window down.

Why are pirates called pirates?
Because they arrrrrrrr!


Bit childish but it made me laugh (though i'd just come back from the pub!)

Years ago while lying in my hammock and drinking JD from the bottle I noticed my dog dragging something under the fence. Upon inspection, to my dismay, I realized it was the next door neighbor's 10 year old daughter's rabbit. For years I had watch her come home from school and head straight out to its cage, free it and play with it in the yard. I knew today would be no different and fearing for our dog, I had to think fast. The rabbit was quite dirty, as if it had put up quite a struggle, so I washed it off with the hose, combed it with the Dog brush and blew it dry with the leaf blower. Upon finishing it's grooming I jumped the fence and replaced back in its cage hoping its death would be written off as "natural causes".

Back to the hammock and JD. Within the hour the neighbors Volvo pulled in as usual and out popped the little girl, and as usual she headed straight for the cage. Only this time she stopped about six feet away and screamed: "DDDDDAAAADDDDDDDYYYYYYY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Her father, panic stricken, stood looking at the cage. Being the good neighbor that I am I rushed to fence and asked if there was anything I could do.

Her father less than calmly blurted, "What kind of sick individual would dig up a little girl's dead rabbit and put it back in it's cage?!"

12 Things To Never Say To A Policeman

1. I can't reach my license unless you hold my beer.
2. Sorry, Officer, I didn't realize my radar detector wasn't plugged in.
3. Hey, you must have been doin' at least 120 mph to keep up with me...Good job!
4. I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a cop.
5. I almost decided to be a cop, but I decided to finish high school instead.
6. You're not gonna check the trunk, are you?
7. Didn't I see you get your ass kicked on COPS?
8. Gee, Officer...that's terrific...the last officer only gave me a warning too!
9. I was trying to keep up with traffic. Yes, I know there are no other cars around-that's how far ahead of me they are.
10. Well, when I reached down to pick up my bag of crack, my gun fell off my lap and got lodged between the brake pedal and the gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control.
11. Hey, is that a 9 mm? That's nothing compared to this .44 Magnum.
12. Hey, can you give me another one of those full cavity searches?

Try these on for size, feel free to use them...

Q. How does santa like his pizzas?

A. Deep pan, crisp and even.


Q. Why would a golfer wear two pairs of socks?

A. In case he got a hole in one.


Two cows in a field, First cow : what do you reckon to all this mad cow business then?

Second cow: doesn't bother me i'm an helicopter.


Q. What does a vegetarian cannibal eat?

A. Swedes


Q. What do you get if you walk under a cow?

A. A pat on the head


and finally...


Q. What is white and goes up?

A. A confused snowfake

For the first bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

See if they can do it again.

For the second bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the third bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the fourth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the fifth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the sixth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the seventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the eighth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the ninth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the tenth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the eleventh bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Say it's not supported
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

For the twelfth bug of Christmas, my manager said to me

Tell them it's a feature
Say it's not supported
Change the documentation
Blame it on the hardware
Find a way around it
Say they need an upgrade
Reinstall the software
Ask for a dump
Run with the debugger
Try to reproduce it
Ask them how they did it and
See if they can do it again.

I wish i could take credit for this:

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

A skinny little white guy goes into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE

black guy standing next to him. The big guy sees the little guy staring at him,

he looks down and says:



"7 feet tall, 350 pounds, 20 inch penis, 3 pound left testicle, 3 pound

right testicle, Turner Brown."



The little white man faints and falls to the floor. The big guy kneels down

and brings him to, shaking him. The big guy says, "What's wrong with you?"



In a weak voice the little guy says, "What EXACTLY did you say to me?"

The big dude says, "I saw your curious look and figured I'd just give you

the answers to the questions everyone always asks me. I'm 7 feet tall, I

weigh 350 pounds, I have a 20 inch dick, my left testicle weighs 3 pounds,

my right testicle weighs 3 pounds, and my name is Turner Brown."



The small guy says, "Turner Brown?!...Sweet Jesus, I thought you said,

"Turn around"!!!

What do you call a Scottish cloakroom attendant?
Angus McCoatup.


(Best I could do)

I'm on a whiskey diet...

I've lost three days already

A 90-year-old man said to his doctor, "I've never felt better. I have an 18-year old bride who is pregnant with my child. What do you think about that?"



The doctor considered his question for a minute and then said, "I have
an elderly friend who is a hunter and never misses a season. One day when
he was going out in a bit of a hurry, he accidentally picked up his
umbrella instead of his gun. When he got to the Creek, he saw a rabbit sitting
beside the stream. He raised his umbrella and went, 'bang, bang' and the rabbit
fell dead. What do you think of that?"



The 90-year-old said, "I'd say somebody else killed that rabbit."



The doctor replied, "My point exactly."